In a perfect world, everyone would read Marcus Aurelius’ Meditations and apply it to their life. No one would crave fame because fame is fleeting. There would be no need for Oprah or other relationship counselors because everyone would know how to interact with each other. However, we don’t live in a perfect world so all I can do is learn as much as I can and spread the knowledge. While reading Meditations, I became very interested in how he says we should engage with people. Marcus believes that everyone is accountable for themselves, regardless of what someone else does. He says, “There is no one who can prevent you from keeping all that you say and do in accordance with that nature, of which you are a part” (12). Someone cannot keep you from being happy or doing your part in nature. The only person I can worry about and control is myself.
I can only control my own actions, but how do I react when the actions of someone else affect me negatively? Marcus begins Book 2 by stating that we cannot be offended by other people’s actions because we are all the same. He says, “But I have seen that the nature of good is what is right, and the nature of evil what is wrong; and I have reflected that the nature of the offender himself is akin to that of my own” (10). Marcus goes on to say that we are all human: we all have the same mind, so we cannot be harmed by anyone nor can we be angry at another human. To be angry at another person would be “against nature”. If I truly believe that someone is a human like me, I shouldn’t be offended by things she does or says. I should only worry about my actions. Marcus believes that focusing only on your own actions is the way to be at peace. He says on page 26, “What ease of mind you gain from not looking at what your neighbour has said or done or thought, but only at your own actions, to make them just, reverential, imbued with good!” When I am focused on being the best I can be, I don’t have time to worry about what someone else is doing.
I also shouldn’t worry about what people are thinking. Marcus says that when we worry about others, we are not using our time wisely. He says, “Do not waste the remaining part of your life in thoughts about other people, when you are not thinking with reference to some aspect of the common good. Why deprive yourself of the time for some other task?” (17). If I spend my time worrying about what someone else is doing, I am stealing time away from something else. I am wasting time because no matter how much time I spend analyzing what someone has said or done, I will never truly know why they said or did it unless I ask them.
The main point I got from reading Meditations is the only thing I can do is be the best me I can be. If you get nothing else from this article, please remember that you can still care about someone even if you don’t let their actions affect your core virtues; you can only control yourself. Once I control myself, I truly know how to engage and interact with other humans.